The Trowa Complex
by TarotCard87
Summary: Trowa gets captured during a mission and something happens, who is there to pick up the pieces? And will he let them help him? COMPLETE.
1. Prologue Inner Ramblings, Capture

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: 1x2, 1x3 Probably more later..nothing else in this chapter though.

Warnings: There is a fair bit of lime in this chapter, literally starting like ten paragraphs in. That's it for this chapter, there will likely be a lemon or two in the future. Spoilers for the Episode Zero mangas, and probably a few things for the series that I'll forget about later.

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Trowa just stood there silently, staring out towards the sea at one of Quatre's estates. His piercing emerald gaze swept over the sight of the sun setting to his right along the sea, and the night coming up on his left. He then looked down to where he could see Duo, Quatre and Wufei in the yard. Duo and Quatre were both playing with a frizbee, and Wufei was laying back on the grass, reading a book. Everyone was so much more relaxed since the war had ended, even Heero. He'd even seen Heero smile a few times after their bout with Mariemaia. Wufei had stopped talking about justice after he'd seen the worst violations of it put to rest. Quatre and Duo stayed the same pretty well, but the shadow in their eyes had left, at least the majority of the time.

All of them had their problems with memories of the lives they'd taken, of the people they'd seen killed everywhere. Every one of them had seen more blood then any other person their age, Trowa himself being only just 19, and the others all 18 now.

With that reminder, the uni-banged pilot let out a sigh and turned around, looking around the room he was standing in slowly, surveying it. Quatre wanted him to stay there, with all of their friends, but Trowa wasn't stupid. He could see the real reason in Quatre's eyes every time he caught Quatre looking at him when the blonde pilot thought he wasn't aware.

Shaking his head, he closed his emerald eyes. He didn't need to think about Quatre's loving him just then. In fact, he didn't want to think about it at all. He didn't love the pilot. Truthfully, he felt like he was a younger sibling that needed watching. Lovable, trusting, and sometimes even annoying. Trowa had had someone else on his mind for the longest time, but he kept that inside himself. He always kept everything inside. He couldn't let anything out, not because he had something to fear from something inside him, or from the other pilots. No, not at all. Trowa just..couldn't let anything out. This is how he always was, as long as he could remember. It had nothing to do with training. He didn't need the sort of 'training' he'd gotten to get that lesson in him, he knew it well before the mercenaries that 'looked after' him began their sick, twisted version of training.

Suppressing a shudder, he inwardly changed topics quickly. Even he could only keep himself locked up for so long, when he was thinking about things like that. Instead his thoughts turned towards his secret crush. The young man with permanently tousled, chocolate brown hair, and amazing prussian blue eyes. He couldn't get Heero out of his head, and it was driving him crazy constantly. Just thinking about the young man sent his heart racing, but he knew nothing would come of it. Two reasons; Relena, and Duo. Relena was constantly around, and with Heero not killing her as of yet for it, Trowa wasn't surprised to see that she wasn't leaving any time soon. And Duo was..Duo. He was Heero's long-time occasional fuck-buddy, though Trowa knew well that Heero wasn't just using Duo. Duo knew full well that there was no relationship between them romantically, and he didn't seem to care. Trowa knew Heero was at least bisexual, but Trowa didn't know anything about his sexual life beyond that.

Once again shaking his head to rid his mind of those thoughts, Trowa started walking towards his door, heading down to the kitchen and getting himself some tea, then heading into the den with his cup. He stopped short in the doorway, a slender eyebrow raised as he saw the object of his silent affections in there. Heero was never in that particular room in the den, but there he was, his laptop hooked up with him typing away. Heero quickly realized that Trowa was there, looking up at him and nodding a hello to him before returning to what he was doing. After a moment, Trowa merely shrugged and went further into the room, pulling out his flute and putting it together, then beginning to just play softly, as he'd been intending to do.

Getting lost in the music, Trowa closed his eyes and relaxed there with him as he played, and he didn't realize it but Heero had stopped typing and was watching him silently, an unreadable expression in his normally expressionless eyes. He then got up silently when he saw that Trowa was too into the music to notice, and closed the door silently. He then went towards the emerald-eyed boy and soon enough stood just infront of him, waiting for him to finish playing.

Trowa played for several minutes longer before stopping, freezing up when he came back to himself and realized how close Heero was. Gently, Heero took the flute away from the banged pilot's hands and set it down gently on the ground next to their feet. Trowa's eyes opened, only to realize he was a mere foot away from the face of his secret crush. No, his secret love.

Heero leaned down slowly and captured the older pilot's lips in a soft, gentle kiss, so gentle that it seemed almost odd, coming from a man that had taken more lives than he could count. The kiss, though only lasting moments, seemed to last forever to the two pilots in the room. Confused emerald eyes met smiling prussian ones, and their lips met again, this time more forcefully, the hesitance gone as Heero pressed Trowa back, nearly moving into his lap on the couch. Heero pulled back once more and looked at Trowa, questioning, his eyes asking if Trowa wanted this, or even if the green-eyed one wanted _him_.

With a silent nod from Trowa, they began kissing again, this time all of their possible hesitations or inhibitions gone with that single nod. Heero moved over Trowa's lap, kissing him hard and passionately, licking at his bottom lip once for entry, which Trowa readily gave him. Trowa moaned at a quick lick to the roof of his mouth, shivering and suddenly clinging to Heero's back, pulling their bodies closer together. Heero continued to kiss Trowa until they both needed to part for breath, and Heero grinned wolfishly down at the older pilot, who actually blinked, his eyes showing embarrassment at the fact that it was so obvious how virginal he was to most aspects of sex. Everything except penetration at least.

Trowa then just lay down on the couch there and pulled Heero down ontop of him, crushing their mouths together brutally and moving his hand into tousled chocolate locks, his free hand running up and down Heero's chest, under his shirt, even as Heero was lifting Trowa's shirt up to get it off of him. Trowa arched his back slightly so it could be brought up, and Heero ran a hand down his lover's chest, raising an eyebrow into the kiss as he felt a nipple ring on his left nipple. He then broke the kiss and smirked, leaning down and starting to play with the hoop with his lips and tongue, sucking on it a little bit and tugging at his nipple with his teeth. Trowa gasped and let out a low moan, arching his back a little again as Heero used the opportunity to completely take off Trowa's shirt.

Trowa couldn't believe how sensitive his pierced nipple actually was. He'd gotten it done during one of his piercing, 'pain for retribution' phases, and the feeling of Heero's teeth tugging on it was amazing. His hands went into the younger boy's hair and practically held his head there. Heero eventually pulled back and started lifting off his own shirt, looking into the emerald-eyed man's single visible eye, brushing back the bangs and blinking in surprise at the doubly-pierced eyebrow. He mentally shrugged it off though, and kissed him briefly before making his way down the man's body, kissing along his neck and enjoying the sound of his moans, then moving down his chest. He played once more with the man's nipple ring, pulling it with his fingers as he sucked on the other one and bit it lightly. He then started to undo Trowa's pants, fumbling a little with the belt as Trowa writhed around beneith him from these not entirely gentle caresses. He started pulling down the pilot's pants and boxers at the same time, feeling to eager to wait to see him entirely.

When Heero pulled back to take a look at his lover, he nearly gasped, finally actually seeing the carved muscle of his frame and even, as he looked further down, the size of his cock, which seemed to be rock hard as Heero reached down and started stroking it slowly, causing Trowa to moan loudly and arch his back slightly. Trowa opened his eyes, which had turned dark with lust, and smirked up at Heero, starting to undo his pants silently and push them down. Heero, when he got off of the couch to take them off, was surprised to be suddenly nearly picked up and pushed onto the couch underneith Trowa, who was almost frantically kissing him and running his hands all over the younger man's muscular body, suddenly grinding their erections together with both of them moaning loudly into the kiss in response.

A loud banging on his door awoke Trowa from his nearly-wet dream and he gasped, groaning and glaring towards the door, sitting up and growling towards the door that the person on the other side could come in, keeping the blankets around his erection to hide it and Duo barged into his room. He levelled a glare at the braided boy and asked, now calmly, what he wanted.

"Mission. Just you and Heero, bud. And you've apparently got _no_ time at all right now to sit around! You have to leave in less than an hour according to Heero." With that, Duo left, taking a few steps before he ran back and closed the door, having learned the hard way that leaving it open was a bad idea. Trowa sighed then and brushed his bangs out of his face, looking down at the impressive erection he had and shaking his head, smothering any thoughts about his dream as he went and got dressed. He got his body under control quickly and managed to go without restricting himself much in his normal jeans, heading outside afterward and going towards the kitchen to grab coffee. It wasn't even dawn yet, the fact that Duo was still awake meant that he likely hadn't gone to sleep yet, and this mission meant that he likely wouldn't.

Giving a curt nod to Heero as he headed towards the cupboard for a mug, her once more had to push his thoughts from his dream, thought it was hard not to think of Heero's tongue moving down to his pierced nipple and--... _No! Barton, stop thinking about it! It'll only make things worse!_ He stifled a second frustrated growl and just got his coffee, sitting down across from his mission partner. After being briefed about the mission from Heero, Trowa nodded and went into the hangar, needing to just be away from him and going to Heavyarms, just climbing up to his shoulder and sitting there, relaxing until his mission, which would last apparently three weeks at the most. _Good_, he thought, _I'd hate to miss Catherine coming here with the troupe, they said they'd be here in a little over a month.._

He just thought about Catherine and circus life until Heero came into the hangar, and they took off for their mission quickly. Letting the gundam pilot itself, Trowa started playing with his tongue piercing with his teeth. None of the gundam pilots had noticed he'd gotten it done, since he never spoke much or opened his mouth enough for it to be noticed. It was amazing, upon reflection, how little any of them knew about him. They even knew more about Heero, since they saw him often, or at least heard him in his room, typing on his laptop. Even when they didn't have missions, Heero could be heard playing games on his computer often. It was like it was a part of his body, with how rarely he parted from it.

Duo, they all knew, wasn't the completely cheery guy they'd thought he was. He was bisexual and very open about it, not caring who knew what. And he was apparently very loud when having sex, Trowa had noticed, since his room was neatly between Duo's and Heero's. He tried hard to ignore the sounds of Duo and Heero having sex every few nights, but often the images flooding his brain refused to be ignored, with Duo's outright moaning and Heero's soft moans and grunts of pleasure. Trowa, once again, had to shake his head to keep his thoughts from wandering down where his blood currently was, and he continued his inner monologue about the pilots.

Chang Wufei was..an interesting person, to say the least. He was completely straight, and Trowa chuckled at the memory of when Duo had jokingly referred to the chinese pilot as gay, how flustered and angry he was, and how quick he was to tell them that he was screwing Sally on the side to get them to leave him alone about being gay. Which Duo promptly did, instead deciding to make kissing noises whenever Sally's name came up in a conversation. That was months ago, and Duo still did that to this day on occasion. As annoying as the repetition could be, it was always fun to watch the serious Wufei turn red and stutter out curses to Duo. Wufei was very justice-oriented, like he seemed, but once the war had ended, the perpetual stick up his ass had apparently come out. Now he could be found reading fantasy books out in Quatre's garden.

Quatre. So much made Trowa just want to get away from this house, and Quatre was a large part of it. He knew that the younger cherubic pilot loved him, and there was nothing he could do about that. _You really can't choose who you love I guess..._ If Trowa _could_ choose, Quatre would be a winning option. He was sweet and kind, and never pushed him to do anything, say anything, show emotions that weren't there. But, alas, it apparently wasn't meant to be.

Heero suddenly turned on the intercom between the two gundams, clarifying things about their mission to him. The wars may be over, but peace wasn't an easy thing to attain, and it was harder to keep it seemed. But at least lives weren't recklessly on the line anymore, they had a goal they could see every day; keep the peace that was showing up everywhere they looked it seemed. And the missions, though more frequent, required less lives, something that had relaxed them all greatly.

The two of them landed not far from a base, one which they were supposed to infiltrate and, eventually, destroy. They were there to hack into the computers, find out all that these people were planning, and lead them to a false battle, where they would be rounded up and arrested. Once that happened, they were to blow up the base. Trowa was to infiltrate the base, something he always ended up finding sickeningly easy, and hook Heero up to the main computers, while assuring that anyone that would come to check up on things while Heero was working would be otherwise..distracted. Again, something that was usually all too easy.

This mission, apparently, wasn't going to be as easy as it seemed to be though. Some paper-pusher must have gotten lazy with his work because there were a hell of a lot more people in this base then the report said. People were _everywhere_ it seemed!

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Trowa was crouched low as he was making his way through the corriders, his eyes narrowed and a gun in his right hand infront of him, incase he encountered trouble. He was heading through the hallway, knowing he was close to the main computer room, when suddenly someone headed into the corrider he was in, towards him. The man spotted him immediately and just ran back where he came from, and Trowa cursed softly as the alarm was sounded. He then stood up and ran towards the room, only to have guards suddenly surrounding him in front and behind him. He raised his gun, but looked around, knowing he was beat. He then just stood up straight and let the gun drop to the floor as he lifted his hand into the air, standing there silently. Two of the men smirked and went to him, patting him down, a little closer to certain body parts than he liked. He frowned inwardly, but otherwise did nothing, not even acknowledging where he was being touched by these men.

They then cuffed him, a little tighter than necessary, having pinned him down on the floor as they did so. Once again, he felt himself groped, but he ignored it for now, using a technique he'd always used when he'd been in the mercinary camp, detaching his mind from his body. It worked well as he was brought to a detention cell, the duffle bag at his side rifled through, the contents all taken away. They hadn't noticed the piece in his left ear where he could hear Heero and even talk to him. When the door to his cell closed, he went to a corner, sitting down and closing his eyes, speaking softly, just loud enough for the earpiece to pick it up.

"I've been caught, our information was off. Abort mission." He heard a little bit of crackling and what sounded like Heero almost growling. Trowa knew that Heero hated to fail a mission, but he knew that they could get this done another way, later on. When Heero spoke, though, Trowa just raised an elegant eyebrow in surprise to his words.

"No. I don't want to deal with an angry Quatre and Duo when I get back. I'm getting you out." He chuckled softly, responding with a quiet 'Alright,' able to clearly picture the look on Duo and Quatre's faces if Heero came back without him. The two pilots would be shocked, and pissed. For some unknown reason, they both cared a great deal about Trowa.

The door to his cell opened just a moment afterward though, and Trowa blanched, his face suddenly several shades paler at the sight of the large man in front of him. The hair, the eyes, the build, even the smirk playing on the man's lips. He knew this man too well, he'd been the one in charge of the mercenary group he was a part of. This was the man that had raped and beaten him almost nightly when he was a young boy.

When the smirk on his lips grew to a hungry grin, Trowa knew he was in trouble, especially when the door to the cell closed behind the large man. The man walked towards him, and Trowa couldn't help by try to hide in the dark corner he was in, unable to help the fear that showed in his eyes as the man continued to close in on him, and he suddenly closed his eyes tightly, letting out a whimper.

"No..please, Cain, no.."

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A/N: So what do you think? This was _not_ the direction I had intended for the fic to take at all. It was _supposed_ to be a one-shot thing about Trowa's thoughts and feelings..but..um...I guess not! Lol I'll just follow my muse! bounces around after muse, being led by a leash and collar Oh yes, I will also be adding warning relevant to each chapter as they come, so you may want to read them. For actual lemons, I will put a note before it starts and when it ends so that those who don't wish to read it, don't have to.


	2. In and Out And Mission Failed

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: Brief 1x3 in this chapter.

Warnings: Alright, I don't actually remember the name of any men mentioned in Trowa's Zero episode, so I made up a guy. Forgive me. As well, there is rape in this chapter, and it's fairly graphic. If you want to skip it, just skip these next three paragraphs and get into it there.

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Trowa was roughly picked up from where he was sitting on the ground, the large man, Cain, having picked him up by his shirt. From the look on the man's face, Trowa knew full well what was going to happen to him, and his feeling was only confirmed when he was suddenly shackled against the wall, his pants literally torn right off of him. Trowa closed his eyes and whimpered as he heard the sound of the man unzipping his pants, and he received a harsh blow across the face from his tormentor for the sound. Trowa suddenly just went lax, letting it happen, knowing he couldn't fight, and not making a sound.

Cain lifted Trowa's legs just enough to position himself at his hole, roughly pushing himself in without lube and letting out a growling moan, where Trowa only winced, feeling himself suddenly torn open from the inside. Cain thrust inside Trowa harshly, one hand wrapped around Trowa neck, the other one holding his hips tight enough to leave a hand-shaped bruise over it. The larger man kept saying things into Trowa's left ear, trying to provoke some sort of reaction from the young man, until he finally pulled back enough and swung, hitting Trowa's cheekbone, nearly shattering it, with Trowa's head smacking against the wall hard enough to daze the pilot.

Grinning wildly at the look on Trowa's face, Cain started punching and hitting him, even taking out a knife and starting to cut his skin up, finally managing to get another few whimpers out of him, but nothing more. Those sounds spurred him on until he finally came inside Trowa, pulling out and ignoring the blood following, crushing his lips to Trowa's and smirking as he zipped himself up and left, leaving Trowa hanging there, bleeding, his lower body exposed to any who looked through the barred opening in the door.

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Heero, from where he was, on the other end of the receiver, heard everything. After hearing Trowa's almost childlike plea of protest to a man named Cain, he nearly trembled, knowing something terrible was about to happen. He'd heard everything, the sound of Trowa's pants being removed, and the other man's pants being opened. He heard the first whimper, and what Cain said to the other pilot, and the man's noises as he raped his friend.

Of course, all of this he heard while he was already in the base, having managed to get the plans for the ventilation system. Normally he wouldn't recommend it, but in a case this urgent, he had no choice but to use an idea normally shown on bad t.v.­1, so he used it. He managed to get to the grate overtop of the room Trowa was in just in time to see Cain kiss Trowa like that, and he waited until he could see that no one was even looking into the room, finally coming down into along a lowered rope it silently.

He looked over to Trowa, having expected him to be watching Heero and waiting to be released. Instead, when he looked at the man, he saw a man that had been broken already. He didn't understand it; Heero had seen before just how much Trowa could take in the way of torture without breaking, but this man, apparently from his past, had broken him in mere minutes. The one visible emerald eye was dead, whatever had sparkled in it previously having died out after his rape. Heero then gave Trowa a quick once-over visually to see how badly he was injured.

Swollen cheek, probably broken cheekbone from what he'd heard through the earpiece, and above the neckline of his shirt, there was redness and bruising already visible. Trowa's shirt was in tatters and there was blood literally dripping from it. If Heero lifted it, he knew that he'd find bruising already developing there most likely. Trowa's legs were cut and bruised, and his hip was one large bruise. There was blood dripping down from between his thighs.

Heero couldn't hold back a gasp when he realized just how badly Trowa had been hurt by the man, and he quickly went forward, managing to get the shackles off of Trowa's wrists, propping him up against his own body. Heero then tied off the rope around Trowa's waist tightly, then climbed it. Once he was in the vent, he lifted Trowa slowly, gritting his teeth as he heard the otherwise-catatonic pilot let out a groan, though thankfully the guards didn't check up on him after what had happened. Apparently, they expected it from him. Heero then tied the rope around his waist as well, and literally had to drag Trowa through the base inside the vents, manouvering corners carefully the whole time.

He managed to get them out, though he had to lift Trowa over his shoulder and run from the base, barely making it to his gundam and flying off with Trowa in Wing's mechanical hand, heading to a safehouse. He wanted to see if Trowa could pilot his own gundam back home before he went there, and he figured that Trowa didn't want many people seeing him in the condition he was in.

It's official, thought Heero as he carried the unconcious Heavyarms pilot into the safehouse, laying him on the lone bed there to examine his wounds, Mission failed...

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When Trowa awoke, all he knew was pain. His body felt like it was on fire, save for most of his legs and arms. He couldn't move, and his right eye was swollen shut. He opened his left though and glanced around as best he could without moving his sore body. He could see, through his hair, that he was in some sort of place that wasn't a prison cell. He could only assume, upon recollection, that it was a safehouse, having remembered Heero's promise to go and get him. He then tensed, as other memories flooded his mind, and all he could see was Cain, remembering vividly the pain he felt as Cain-

No! he mentally cried out, trembling suddenly, his one good eye closed tightly. He shook his head violently, ignoring the pain it caused, trying to rid himself of the images in his head. Suddenly, someone was by his side, trying to get his attention and bring his mind back from where it was. Trowa suddenly gasped as he came back to himself, and opened his one eye, only to see Heero's apparent worry for him. Trowa stared up into those prussian eyes for a moment before suddenly going limp, his head falling to the side and staring off. His bangs fell back infront of his one good eye, and he stared.

Heero just froze as he saw Trowa's reaction, confused and unsure for once in his 'Perfect Soldier' life. If Trowa had kept thrashing, he'd have been able to deal with it, had he been catatonic from the start, Heero could've figured out how to deal with it. But..he seemed somewhere in-between the two states. And Heero was at a loss. He briefly considered calling the others, but knew that Trowa likely didn't want to see anyone at that point; not even him.

Trowa blinked a few times, then slowly sat up, leaning on his side against the headboard, facing away from Heero. When he spoke, his voice was soft and quiet, and the inflection sounded like that of a child speaking, and his voice wavered with each word.

"I'm hungry..Heero, can-...can I have something to eat?" At this, Heero just blanched, staring openly in shock at the other pilot. This was Trowa, the man who was more serious than the Perfect Soldier himself at times. This man at times seemed far more emotionless than Heero ever did. Heero then shook his head, resuming his stoic look, and responded in an affirmative before walking away, heading into the kitchen and coming out minutes later with a bowl of soup for the pilot. He looked Trowa over, unsure if the man realized that he'd actually torn a few stitches in the process of thrashing, and then getting up.

"We'll need to re-stitch your wounds, Trowa. And you're bleeding again." Heero was trying to sound gentle and comforting as he looked at the older pilot, suddenly very unsure of what to make of this whole thing, especially how Trowa was reacting to it.

Trowa looked down at the bandages on his chest, looking at the blood that had soaked through them, and then looking over Heero almost helplessly, "I'm sorry.." He went to take the bowl of soup, but his hands were shaking too badly and they both knew that he wouldn't be able to eat on his own. Heero replied to Trowa's apology after a moment of surprise, saying that it was alright and they'd fix it in a moment. Heero then just settled himself on the bed and fed the older pilot, almost enjoying it as he watched him. Trowa knew he was helpless, but still apparently had wanted to try to eat on his own.

When the soup was done, Heero was able to redo Trowa's stitches and rebandage his chest without incident, and made him go to sleep once more. He then started to think about what to do about getting them home, since there was absolutely no way that Trowa would be able to pilot Heavyarms in this condition, both physically and mentally.

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Quatre woke up in the middle of the night from a knock on his door; it was Rashid. "Master Quatre, please hurry! It is Mr. Yuy, apparently something went wrong on the mission and he needs help!" Quatre could feel his body going numb; if Heero was calling, saying something went wrong, then that meant that something happened to Trowa.

It took Quatre a moment before he bolted upright and nearly ran to the phone, wearing still just a t-shirt and boxers, his blonde hair a mess from his sleep. "Heero, what happened!" He saw Heero just shake his head on the other end and sigh softly, and knew something was terribly wrong. "What is it!"

"I can't explain over the phone. I just need one of you down here to bring HeavyArms came there. I'll be taking Trowa, something happened to him, I don't want him out of my sight in this condition. I don't think he could handle too much right now." Quatre could see Heero frown and look over his shoulder, to where Trowa presumably was, and the concern was etched in his face. Quatre suddenly had his own revelation as he watched Heero's face, and put a hand over his mouth in surprise.

"You..you love him, don't you Heero?" Quatre's voice was a mere whisper, one that could barely be heard by Heero. When he did realize what Quatre had said though, he jerked his head back towards the vid screen, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "You do!" While shocked, Quatre couldn't hide the hurt from his face. He'd known that Trowa felt nothing for him more than friendship, but he'd had a feeling that this would happen. That someone else that Trowa might fall in love with would love him in return.

"No. I..I can't love him Quatre. You know that as well as I do. He is..unstable. Especially right now. So can you come and help me bring him there? I don't want to risk keeping him here, we're too close to the base and he's in no condition to run if they come back."

"But..the base should have been destroyed. You mean it wasn't?" The look of surprise on Quatre's face caused Heero to hang his head.

"I had to get him out of there Quatre. I didn't have a chance to even plant the bombs, nevermind to detonate them. Mission failed, Quatre. The first one.." He sounded so ashamed of himself. After a moment of silence, he heard a pained groan and Heero quickly turned around, then just turned off the phone and hurried to Trowa's side, leaving Quatre to wonder what really had happened to his friend during that mission.

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"Where's Trowa?" Wufei, who had come to take HeavyArms back to the mansion they were staying in at the time, demanded the moment he walked into the safehouse. Heero motioned for Wufei to follow him, after putting a finger against his lips to signal silence, and Wufei eagerly did, his steps nearly perfectly silent on the ground. As he looked at the bruised and battered form there laying on the bed, obviously asleep, Wufei was amazed that Trowa was even alive at the extent of the injuries that he could see, knowing that there were going to be plenty more that he couldn't. If it weren't for the hair, he didn't think he'd recognize this swollen, beaten face.

"What..happened to him?" Wufei's voice was soft, and angry, his eyes glittering with fury that this had happened to another gundam pilot, to one of his friends. His gaze slowly moved from Trowa to Heero and he looked him square in the eye, "Who did this to him?"

Heero deadpanned, "He was captured, I heard through the earpiece that a man named Cain came in the room, shackled him to a wall, and raped and beat him. That's all I know right now." Heero looked into Wufei's eyes for a moment, then turned around, heading to his laptop, mumbling something about needing to check something there. Wufei frowned, having seen the sadness and shame in Heero's eyes after talking about what happened to Trowa.

"We need to get Trowa taken care of, then we'll deal with this Cain person." Wufei just nodded to himself, liking that plan, and headed into another room after a glance to the body on the bed there, not wanting to look at it. After a bit, Heero joined him, and they started to talk about how they would get back and when they would leave exactly.

It took a few days before they figured out exactly what they were going to do. Heero was going to have Trowa in his cockpit, on his lap as he flew back, but he needed Wufei to help get him there and to help strap the two of them in so they wouldn't get hurt by anything too easily. Wufei would then fly back HeavyArms, take a transport back to the planet, and fly back Nataku. It wasn't the best plan, but it was what they had.

They were just about to leave, having just finished securing Trowa in his place in Wing's cockpit when Trowa opened his eyes and started to outright shake, feeling someone behind him that he didn't recognize, and he started struggling. Heero had to put his hands firmly on Trowa's shoulders, then make Trowa look him in the eyes before Trowa would believe that it wasn't someone out to rape him again. The fear and desperation that Heero saw in Trowa's eyes nearly broke his heart and he couldn't help himself, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the emerald-eyed pilot, who tensed even as he moaned unconciously against Heero's lips.

When Heero pulled away, he looked into Trowa's eyes, which were confused but no longer afraid, and he looked at Trowa's lips and the faint colour to his bruised cheeks, and he kissed him again, harder and more persistantly. Trowa completely tensed up, but Heero barely noticed. He kissed him deeply and thrust his tongue into the older pilot's mouth, unaware of the fear nearly rolling off of Trowa at that point. Finally, when Trowa whimpered after a bit, Heero clued in and pulled back with a gasp, his eyes wide as he took in the afraid look on the bruised pilot's face.

"Oh God...Trowa I'm so sorry I..I didn't mean to do that.." Gritting his teeth, Heero closed his eyes, then just stroked the man's hair a bit to try and relax him before turning on Wing, "Let's just get you home. I'm sorry.."

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A/N: Oh wow I'm so sorry it took so long to get this out to you guys. I've had an...interesting past four weeks; I haven't had my computer for them at all. I had meant to get this out before my week-long trip to visit my girlfriend but that just never seemed to happen and I apologize for that, but thank you all very much for your reviews! What's this, seven reviews for one chapter? I think that's more reviews than I got for any of my other fics put together. But yeah, thanks once again everyone and I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you seemed to enjoy the last. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

1 - Boondock Saints is my God. And we shall leave it at that.


	3. Recovering, Finally

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: 1x3, mentioned _possible_ 5x4

Warnings: There is a lemon, and if you don't wish to read it, you can just skip ahead to the end of it. I make it quite clear where it begins and ends.

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The trip back to Quatre's mansion was completely silent after that, and Trowa was scared out of his wits the whole time. He trembled a little bit there, able to feel Heero's erection beneith him, whimpering now and then if Wing jolted and he was pressed against it a little more. Heero just grit his teeth and kept silent, unable to believe that his body wasn't listening to him like this. He hated the fact that he knew full well that it was tormenting Trowa to feel it against him after what Heero'd done.

The moment they'd landed, Heero got Trowa up and out of Wing, and Quatre was right there to help the traumatized boy into his room. A week later and he was walking around, but he didn't let the others know that he was paying for it in blood. His mind was wrapped in a shroud of dark thoughts, and his reactions to things were limited to a surprised grunt whenever someone snapped him back into reality, his eyes finally looking upward to whoever was talking to him still remaining glazed over in pain, physical, mental and emotional. He could always be seen inside his room at the window, staring off silently up at the blue skies.

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"I'm worried about him.." Quatre was always worried about Trowa, but now especially everyone understood why. "It's been over a week and he still hasn't said a word to anyone.. He's normally quiet, yes, but this is pushing it even for him. And he's barely eating or leaving his room.." The other pilots all just nodded, even Duo silent in the mutually morose mood that happened to come about as they talked about Trowa's mental state. Heero especially couldn't help but feel responsible for this. He had been supposed to watch over Trowa and instead he just listened as he'd been raped and then later on only further deepened the wounds that Trowa was feeling. And he found that he couldn't forgive himself for it.

Suddenly, Heero just got up and walked out of their little 'meeting of the minds,' heading into the yard out back, sitting down on the grass far from the house and staring at it, plucking out blades of the grass he was sitting upon. He wasn't sulking, he told himself, he was just reflecting on the less pleasant parts of his life and being upset about it. Naturally. He was unaware that the moment he'd gone outside, Trowa's attention snapped to him, half warily, and half curiously.

_You can't fool me, Heero. You're upset. I can always tell when you're upset. _His mind went back to the kiss in Wing and he grit his teeth, staring hard at the younger pilot out on the grass. _Did you mean it? Are you really sorry about what you did?_ He sat down on the chair and watched Heero almost sadly, "I want so desperately to be with you Heero, but I don't know what you want.."

"Do you actually want to be with me? Or do you just want me?" Trowa put his face in his hands and rested his windows on the window sill, a sigh of frustration escaping his lips.

When Heero moved again to get up, Trowa looked immediately, noticing right away, and he saw Duo bound out towards Heero, hugging him and trying to give him a kiss. Heero turned his head away though and Trowa bit his lip. That was another thing, Heero and Duo had been in seperate beds every night, Heero hadn't even let Duo kiss him since. Trowa was having trouble crushing the feeling of hope he was starting to feel whenever he thought about that.

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A few days later, there was a knock at Trowa's door. It was quiet, but not timid, and there were only two raps that were solid. Heero. Trowa had analysed all of their knocks and could tell who was at the door merely by that. Heero walked in after Trowa's soft response allowing him, and he closed the door afterward, his back to Trowa for the moment.

Heero slowly turned around and faced Trowa, who was sitting by the window, looking outside with his body only half turned to the window he was staring at. He could feel Heero's eyes on him and wondered what he was thinking, his gaze moving to meet the prussian-eyed boy's slowly.

"I want to make sure you know, I didn't mean to scare you like that. I am sorry..I just didn't know what else to do. I'm not..good at that sort of thing. Quatre is good at comforting people, Duo even. Not me. I'm..I'm so sorry Trowa.." Trowa heard the emotion in Heero's voice, knowing it was true, but he wasn't sure he could forget the fear he felt just then.

"I know.. Is that all, Heero?" He looked up at him, turning towards him, and saw the disappointment in his eyes even in the dim light. Slowly, Trowa stood up and walked towards Heero, curiosity on his face, "Why did you really come here, Heero?"

Looking surprised, Heero almost jumped at the question. He knew that he'd at least partially been found out, and he reached up, slowly so Trowa wouldn't be afraid, and brushed his bangs from his face, looking into his eyes, glancing only for a moment at the surprising piercing. "I wanted to be sure you forgave me. And..I wanted to know that things are still..alright between us." He cringed, hearing that from his own mouth, then shook his head and decided to show what he wanted in words instead, leaning forward ever so slowly and gently pressing his lips to the taller pilot's. After a moment he pulled away, his eyes questioning.

Trowa couldn't believe what Heero had just done, his eyes showing his surprise and shock, but there was no fear there just then, "W-..why?" Heero just smiled and shook his head, indicating he didn't understand it either, and leaning forward once more to kiss him, just as gently, with Trowa kissing him back this time. Heero broke the kiss again after a time and then pulled him close, holding him gently.

"I will never hurt you again, Trowa. _Never_."

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The next few weeks, the rest of Trowa's recovery, things seemed so much more..normal. As normal as things get in a household like that one. Things even seemed homey, with Heero and Trowa almost always found next to one another, and Quatre constantly watched by Wufei, though the blonde was completely, almost adorably naive to it.

Everything seemed perfect - until Heero and Trowa's laptops let out their insistant beeps, indicating another mission. Trowa got to his first and checked the mission, then went pale, his eyes widening slightly and his hands beginning to tremble. Heero quickly moved to his side and growled at the mission; the same as the last time, the same as the very mission that got Trowa attacked. The exact same mission schematics, since the security had gone more lax now after no further attacks, and after what had happened to Trowa. They didn't think they would be back. This time, the information was completely up-to-date, and they were going to get daily updates still.

Heero put his hands gently on Trowa's shoulders, squeezing slightly to show that he was there and would help him and try to keep him safe. Their relationship had blossomed emotionally, though they'd never physically been together as much as either might want to. They knew that Trowa feared it, even as much as he might want to keep it hidden.

"We'll make it through this. I'll be there with you, it's okay.." He tried hard to keep his own hands from trembling, knowing how hard this would be for Trowa. The worst part of it all was that they were leaving for it the very next day.

Trowa turned his chair around and looked up at Heero, looking slightly afraid, though more decided suddenly as he stood up and kissed Heero softly. "Heero, I...I want us to..to be together now. Tonight, before anything else happens that will..hurt us." The look on his face showed that he wasn't going to let fear or his memories stop him just then.

**Warning: If you do not wish to read the lemon, skip ahead to where it says 'End'.**

Heero slowly nodded and they kissed once again, Heero's arms wrapping around Trowa's waist as he brought him towards the bed, leading him there slowly. Trowa's hands rested at first on Heero's shoulders, then moved down his chest slowly to rest at the hem of his shirt, sliding under it and running against the hard muscle underneith for just a moment before Heero moved him to lay down on the bed and obeying Trowa's hand, which had been tugging on his shirt, and lifting off his shirt.

Heero layed down next to Trowa, half hovering over him as he began kissing him again, his hand sliding Trowa's thin t-shirt up his own washboard muscles to his nipple, surprised to find it pierced as he flicked it, settling for twisting the silver hoop and relishing in Trowa's groans. He and Trowa had been close emotionally, though physically they hadn't gone further than chast kisses for the sake of Trowa's mental state. Which is why Heero was also surprised to find that his lover's tongue was pierced, though he found he thoroughly loved the sensation of the metal ball along his tongue in the sensual feeling of their tongues twined together.

Trowa's own hands were busy exploring every inch of Heero's upper body and he was delighted to find that Heero's nipples were even more sensitive than his own, and he promptly took advantage of that. Within moments, Heero was practically mewling there against him and panting, his pants visibly straining against his erection. Slowly, he moved one hand down to Heero's pants, stroking him over them for a moment before slowly beginning to release him from them.

While Heero's pants were being removed, Heero broke the kiss and stared into emerald orbs as he lifted his shirt slowly. Trowa reliquished his hold on the younger one's pants and let him take off his shirt, then simply shivered at the heated gaze he was getting. It was so different from Cain's; it was loving as well as wanting. It wasn't pure lust, and it comforted him greatly, and he tilted his head back with a groan as Heero leaned down and began to thoroughly mark his neck, biting and sucking until there were dark marks covering him. He barely noticed when Heero divested him of his clothing, or that Heero's clothing mysteriously disappeared as well.

When the prussian-eyed pilot pulled back, Trowa could only gasp and moan as his hand enclosed his erection, and his hips involuntarily bucked upward for more friction. Heero's mouth gradually began to move down his chest, licking at his nipples and biting them, flicking the lone hoop. His mouth roamed over Trowa's body, dipping into his bellybutton, which he noticed beforehand was pierced as well, and moving down further still. Trowa gasped, then whimpered when Heero past by where he desperately wanted him with nothing but the feel of hot breath against him.

Heero was slowly and teasingly kissing along his inner thighs for just long enough for Trowa to let out a whining 'please', then he moved back to his aching need and started to lick and kiss along it slowly. This only brought more whimpers at the teasing touching until Heero finally wrapped his lips around him, his back arching slightly as he moaned loudly suddenly. Heero got lube that he kept in the drawer next to the bed and started to apply it to Trowa slowly, making sure not to be painfully intrusive and, the moment Trowa realized and tensed, Heero half-flicked his finger inside of him, and Trowa could only gasp and clench the bedsheets as he saw fireworks.

Heero grinned a bit as he continued his oral ministrations and stretched Trowa slowly to ready him. He could only moan at the sight of Trowa, minutes later, as he came in his mouth, his back arching and his eyes snapping open, clouded over with lust and pleasure. Heero then slowly moved up, his fingers still moving inside Trowa slowly as he kissed the man softly. He looked into his eyes after a moment, questioning him silently to be sure he was completely ready for this. Trowa locked eyes with Heero and nodded, though he looked a bit wary as Heero's fingers left him and brought up his legs, his ankles hooked over Heero's shoulders.

Heero's hand then reached down and he slowly thrust inside of Trowa, groaning at the heat and the tightness around him. He kissed him softly and gently, waiting for Trowa to relax again before he started moving in slow, gentle thrusts. He sped up slowly as he felt Trowa moaning against his lips, one hand propping himself up on the bed and his other on Trowa's hardening cock. He kissed him more passionately once he felt Trowa tightening from the pleasure he was feeling.

Trowa had one hand in Heero's already tousled hair, the other hand on his back with his short nails digging in to the skin there. He just groaned and moaned at the feeling of Heero inside of him and moved his lips to the side of Heero's neck, marking him as equally as he had been marked now.

It didn't take too long before the combined feeling of Heero moving his hand over his erection in time to thrusting inside of him, and Trowa came once again, moaning loudly and arching his back, his body tensing as his hand on Heero's shoulder drew faint specks of blood. The feeling of Trowa tightening around him caused Heero to lose it as well and he thrust a few more times into him, hard, before he orgasmed as well. Heero just collapsed against his love and gasped, panting for breath as Trowa did.

**End of lemon.**

Heero tilted Trowa's cheek so he would look at him, a soft smile on his face as he murmured words that neither had dared to say yet, "I love you, Trowa.." Trowa merely smiled and nuzzled into the hand on his cheek.

"I love you too, Heero.."

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A/N: And that's chapter three! Hope you enjoyed, please review. I think I'm finally getting an idea where my muse is taking this so that's a good thing at least. And this time it took considerably less time to do it too! Yay!


	4. Completion and Acceptance

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: Brief 1+3, none others mentioned

Warnings: Nothing much in this chapter, mention of a lot of past rape, but it's only a mention so you should be alright.

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They slept peacefully throughout the night, entangled in one another's arms, Trowa's head tucked under Heero's chin, his body half laying across Heero's chest. At merely four in the morning, Heero's alarm went off, waking the younger pilot immediately. He almost forgot that Trowa was in his arms when he went to move, then smiled faintly as he looked at the uni-banged boy against him. Gently, as a grim look took over his face, Heero shook Trowa awake so they could ready themselves for their mission.

As he blinked open his green eyes, Trowa smiled a little up at Heero before the events that lead to the wonderful memories made the night before came back to him. Slowly, his smile faded and he softly kissed Heero, getting out of bed. Both of them had dark looks on their faces as they showered quickly and readied themselves, finding they could barely keep their hands to themselves from the desperation of the situation. They could lose one another again from this, and both of them were terrified of the possibility.

It took them longer than they expected to get out of the bedroom even, and once they were out of there and to the hanger, it took even longer to part for their gundams. Passionate kisses, gentle caresses and lingering touches were exchanged until they were out of breath and they finally, reluctantly, parted. With a final, searing kiss, they got to their gundams and took off, both a little shaky at the knowledge of what they were about to do, and the possible consequences.

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They arrived at the base, not a word exchanged between the two of them, neither wanting to ruin their memories by talking about it. Both of them used their recent memories of the previous night to keep their heads and to keep themselves from mourning what happened the last time they'd attempted this very same thing. They had the most recent report of everything occuring at the base, and then went about what they were to be doing.

Trowa infiltrated the base easily and got Heero hooked up to the computer, standing guard outside in a stolen uniform, his unique hair underneith his hat so it looked like he was just a regular soldier with short hair, instead of the uni-banged pilot of HeavyArms. Heero hacked into the computers with ease, following through with their plan, and informed Trowa of his completion of that part through their earpiece, then followed Trowa inside the base. This was not a part of what they were supposed to do, this was for their own revenge.

Heero was talking through his earpiece to Trowa, letting him know when he'd gotten close to the place they were supposed to meet, wearing one of the uniforms as well now. Trowa waited until he knew that he was near where the computers said Cain would be found just then, then let his single bang down, waiting for someone to spot him. The alarm was sounded and he fought, not putting much effort into it before he was cuffed and groped a little bit under the pretense of patting him down for weapons. He tensed at the footsteps he heard coming down the hall and raised his head to glare towards the man creating such loud, resounding noise with a few steps.

"Ah, I see my toy has returned to me. I was most...displeased, when you weren't in your cell when I came to play again." He reached up and swung his hand back down to Trowa's cheek, a resounding crack echoing through the hallway. Trowa stumbled back a little at the force of the slap and grit his teeth a little, then just stared up at Cain, his eyes furious. As he'd expected, this time Cain had the men lead him to his personal quarters, thinking that they _wouldn't_ expect that. Trowa, having grown up with the man, knew better than anyone what he was thinking.

Heero was already inside the man's rooms, hidden away so that when they were ready, he could come out and restrain Cain so that they could punish him for all that he'd done. Trowa was lead to the bed and quickly restrained, handcuffed so he was spread-eagle on the covers, and he promptly kicked the other men out so that he could have his 'fun'. Cain eagerly took a knife and started to cut along Trowa's uniform, digging in a little so that he was cutting skin occasionally as well. Trowa bit his lip and let out a soft cry of pain, which was Heero's signal. Heero practically jumped from where he'd been hiding, predictably in the closet, and he hit Cain with the butt of his gun on the temple, just hard enough for him to be knocked unconcious.

The moment that Cain was slumped on the ground unconcious, Heero turned his attention to his lover, kissing him softly as he undid the handcuffs. He held part of the blankets to Trowa's shallow wound on his arm and smiled over at him softly, a smile which Trowa shakily returned.

"It's alright, koibito, he won't be able to hurt you again.." Trowa pulled Heero down for another soft kiss before they both got up and finished what they had come there to do.

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As they sat on the hill in the distance, two figures watched the explosions of the base in the distance. On record, the place was a medical facility, explaining away the barracks as being patient rooms, etc., and this would all be under the record as a gas leak causing explosions, an accident that horribly killed many of innocents. Trowa and Heero, sitting atop that hill, knew better however.

Heero pulled the taller man against him, holding him close as Trowa started to cry softly, tears trailing down his cheeks as he let go of a part of his past, knowing that cain would never be able to haunt him again. The explosions slowly died down, and the two men stood up, holding hands as they headed to their gundams in the forest, and they flew off quickly to head back home to Quatre's mansion.

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When they arrived, they were quickly greeted by the other three pilots and made their way inside. It was inside that they spoke of what happened, though Trowa said barely a word if he could help it, knowing that the others understood. Finally, once they finished speaking of the mission, Trowa finally spoke up about his past to everyone. Something he'd yet to do before, even to Heero, his lover having gone on only what he had figured out from Trowa's reactions to everything.

He told of how, when he was a young boy, he was brought to a mercenary camp and made into the camp 'slave', essentially. Cain had been the one in charge of the mercenary group and he was raised with them, being their errand boy. When he'd grown up a little more, when he was around ten or so, that had changed and he'd become their 'whipping boy' at nights. During the day he received 'training' of sorts, but at night it was another matter entirely. The men of the camp shared him, and every night he'd be ordered into a different man's bed to be raped and molested until the mercenaries, for whatever, began to leave on their own until it was just a few men and Cain. He quickly became just Cain's whipping boy, Cain rarely sharing him. Instead, he would just beat him senseless as he raped him until finally, Trowa managed to escape the men and he enlisted to help with Operation: Meteor.

Trowa quickly explained how he'd gotten to where he had on L3 and how he'd become Trowa Barton, then just sat there, waiting to hear what everyone said. His head was down and his eyes averted to the floor, his arms wrapped around his legs which had been pulled up to his chest. Finally, after a few moments, he was pulled into Heero's arms, and quickly had Quatre's around him as well. The look on Wufei's face was first of horror, then of sympathy, and finally sorrow. When Wufei caught Trowa's eye and nodded, smiling a little bit, his eyes warm, Trowa knew he still had the man's respect. Duo was off raging about how someone could be so cruel and he was suddenly swept up into another hug from the braided man, causing him to smile a little faintly at his energy.

Trowa then relaxed when he was put down and settled against Heero as the others slowly relaxed as well, not forgetting about the topic, but not letting it bother them too much just then. They knew he had dealt with it and would be fine now, and they then started to talk about other things, leaving that topic well alone. Trowa smiled after a few minutes and buried his face against his lover's neck, the smile small but completely genuine. He knew his past was behind him, and he had friends that stuck by him through it, no matter what.

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A/N: Okay, that's it! I odn't know if I'm going to put an epilogue up yet or not, I think I probably will but I'm being pulled in a few different directions on how that one should go. As it stands, I do know that this chapter was a little rushed at the end, but I couldn't get my muse to work out how Trowa would tell the others his past. And I _am_ aware that that isn't how it goes in the Episode Zero. Oh well, get over it. Lol. Thanks once more to the wonderful people that reviewed!


	5. We Will Meet Again

Title: The Trowa Complex

Pairings: 1x3, 4x5, 2xOC

Warnings: Character death...yeah, that's it for this chapter..Er..sorry?

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--A Few Years Later...--

Heero and Trowa had been together for a while and had, beyond that one night, taken things slowly to ease Trowa into a normal, truly loving relationship. A few months after they'd gotten together, after their yearly physical, they discovered that something was quite off with the uni-banged pilot. He wouldn't be staying with them as long as they'd like to have together.

They had all thought, during the wars, that they would die young, but after the wars things had changed. Quatre and Wufei were living together now and Duo was quite happy with another boy he'd met a while back. They had all seemed to be living perfectly happy, normal lives that they never would have guessed possible while they were gundam pilots, fighting for the colonies. That one physical, that one test result that said 'positive', however, ruined everything for Heero and Trowa.

Even with the best doctors and the best medication, the HIV had progressed into AIDS rather quickly, and Trowa was dying. He managed to live a full three years before his visits to the hospital became more frequent and more alarming. Eventually, after a few months of that, he finally passed, leaving Heero a broken shell of a person.

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The day of Trowa's funeral was bright and sunny, Heero noticed as he glowered out the window of Quatre's limousine. It was entirely too cheery of a day considering what had happened, what they had all gone through. What _he_ had gone through. In the back of his mind, he knew rationally that it wasn't the world plotting against him, but that didn't stop him from hating it any less.

His eyes burned, all the tears he'd cried in the last few days making them hurt, and all the tears he wished he could still cry making them red and puffy still. He couldn't help but to think about Trowa's last moments, as he sat there by his bed in the hospital. The way Trowa looked over at him and smiled when he said his last words. '_I love you and I'll _always_ be with you..' _He'd _smiled_! He didn't have the right to smile to him during a moment that completely crushed Heero's spirit. But he did nonetheless, and it was as comforting as it was painful, knowing that Trowa would be alright when he left.

The most painful thing was that, as Trowa smiled and spoke, he didn't look as fragile as he was. He looked like the young man that Heero had known through the wars, always tough and strong and invincible. But he wasn't invincible, and it killed Heero to know that, as he spoke, he died, and he left Heero for good. He'd lied to Heero when he died. Trowa wasn't there, like he'd said he would be.

They pulled up to the cemetary, having foregone a service as Trowa had requested. He wasn't a religious man, and he hadn't wanted his friends to listen to what he felt were just petty words to make people feel better about their own deaths. They got out of the limousine and went to where his headstone was and to his 'grave'.

It was just a small hole, really, two feet deep with an urn filled with Trowa's ashes. But it was where he rested nonetheless, and it was next to where Heero planned to rest years from now. It was where most of Trowa rested, actually; a small part of him was always with Heero, in a small pendant he wore around his neck on a chain that Trowa had given him for Christmas one year. Heero refused to completely part with his love, instead keeping him with him always, in any way he could.

They all stood there, paying their silent respects to Trowa, their silent clown. Heero, one hand clasped to his pendant, kept re-reading the gravestone in silence, wishing desperately that it wasn't real. That it wasn't Trowa's name engraved there and that it wasn't his ashes buried there.

**Here Lies**

**Trowa Barton**

**Rest in Peace, Friend, Brother, **

**and Our Silent Clown.**

**"Death is not the end; We shall meet again."1**

The quote was what Trowa had said when it became clear that he was not going to live for much longer. He refused to have Heero grieving for him for the rest of his life, but Heero couldn't help himself. His love was gone, had left him because of the disease that that bastard had given him the one, last time he'd been raped. The one time that Heero was listening, and didn't help him soon enough. God, he wished he could take it back, take it all back. That he could go back in time and kill Cain before he raped Trowa that last time and confess to him then just how he'd felt for the emerald-eyed pilot.

But he couldn't. He could wish all he wanted, but he could never change all that had happened to them. And in truth, he wasn't sure if he wanted to really. Knowing they'd had so little time together, the two of them made sure to make every moment they had together count. They took vacations and spent time with the circus, Trowa's adoptive family. He knew that if they hadn't had so little time together, they wouldn't have enjoyed the time they did have quite like they did.

The others had moved back from the grave, ready to leave, but stayed just a few feet behind Heero, letting him stay there for a moment longer with his privacy. He didn't know how long they waited before they stepped forward again. Duo wrapped an arm around Heero's shoulders, and Wufei stood next to him, a hand on his arm. He glanced, briefly, at them, before turning his attention back to the gravestone.

"He wouldn't want you to stay here and mourn him for the rest of his life. He loved you, and would want you to remember him and move on.." Wufei looked over at him, then squeezed his arm sympathetically before leaving Duo to speak to him alone, taking Quatre's hand and walking with him to the limo.

"Heero..." Duo paused, then sighed, gently but persistantly turning Heero's chin with his hand so that Heero was looking him in the eyes, "Heero, you have to move on. If you keep thinking about him like this, with just sadness. Do you want to taint the memory of him like this?" Duo suddenly smiled, looking less stern and more happy, though his voice was serious just the same, "Come on, Heero. Look at how nice it is today; do you want to waste a day like this when Trowa would have dragged you out of the house and made you have some fun? Let's go celebrate the memory of our best friend, okay?"

As Duo grinned and dragged him off, Heero looked back just once on the grave of his love, and found himself smiling a little bit. They were right; he couldn't sit around moping for the rest of his life. Trowa would hate to have his memory soiled with despair. A beautiful, bright, sunny day like this would have Trowa celebrating, and so, Heero would celebrate for him. With him.

_--Owari--_

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A/N: It took a little longer than I'd expected before I could get myself in the mind frame enough to write this. I didn't want to make it too sad and I think I succeeded pretty well. I wanted to just display Heero's feelings about what happened, and have the ending as happy as possible, considering. Anyways, a final thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers, I love you all, and I appreciated the feedback. Please, let me know what you thought about the finale here, hm?

1 - I'm not sure exactly where my friend found this quote for me, but she had said it was on an icon she'd found on so I'd just like to make sure everyone knows that I did _not_ create that quote, and I'd like to at least try to give credit where it is due.


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